Who has ever had an issue with self-esteem? Meeeeeee!!!!! I can guarantee I am not the only one though… I’ll even take that a step further and say that I can guarantee that EVERYONE at one point in their life has felt low self-esteem. Some just struggle with it more consistently throughout their lives than others!
Growing up I was frequently told that I was “too perfect,” or that I seemed a little “stuck up”…. Well, as much as I’d like to be perfect and stuck up (haha) I am here to tell you that those statements are completely false. I have poor self-esteem and have struggled with it most of my life.
Don’t worry guys, I’m working on it. I believe that my parents’ divorce added to my insecurities, as well as being a shy child. I can tear myself down in two seconds because I am not as pretty as this person, or I am not as successful as that person… Yada yada, we’ve all done that before!
This last year I have had a “come to terms with myself” party, and it has been so exciting! I have realized how unhealthy this behavior is, and how it needs to change. I sought help, and came out with some great ideas that I have tested and have helped me.
I figured I wasn’t the only one who struggles with self-esteem, so I wanted to share what has been helping me, and can help you!
1. REALIZING I had a problem.
I did not realize I had a problem with self-esteem for a very long time. I felt terrible a lot, but I blamed it on some negative things that were happening in my life. But guys, regardless of what was happening I should’ve been taking control! I was being ACTED UPON instead of ACTING UPON. Mind. blown…
My first step toward healing was realizing that I had a problem with negative self image and that I tend to have a very negative mindset. I would think that people didn’t like me when I wasn’t even reciprocating positive feelings towards them! Once I started realizing this it gave me the push to want to change.
So say it out loud! Say it to someone else! “I have a problem with self-esteem…” and then follow up with “….and I am gonna do something about it!” There you go! You’ve just taken your first step towards healing. 🙂
(Outfit details are linked below!)
2. Positive self talk and a positive mindset.
The first thing I took into account when I realized I had a self-esteem issue was changing my mindset from negative to positive thinking. (I’m no pro here….still working on this one!) Luckily Garrett is on board and when I say something negative he will ask me how I can rephrase it to be kinder to myself. It sounds silly, but this really catches me off guard and makes me think!
An example is “UGH! My hair looks so terrible today!” vs “Hm, my hair has a mind of its own today, but that’s ok because my makeup is on point!” See the switch there?
Also, every morning I have been doing my 5 minute journal and writing positive self talk in the “I am…” section. I am a good friend. I am a great blogger. I am pretty. I am successful. Just like that! Check out this journal. It is seriously a great way to start and end my day!
3. Surrounding myself with uplifting people and BEING an uplifting person.
Ok. We all have those people in our lives that just TEAR YOU DOWN with every single word that comes out of their mouth. They may not necessarily be talking poorly about you, but their whole attitude on life and people can just drag you down. Then you are left feeling lifeless and worse for having been with them which makes you feel worthless…. It’s a downward spiral.
Unfortunately some of these people can be family members, people you work with, or just people you run into all the time at social events. There is no escaping them! HOWEVER, you can limit their influence on you and how you interact with them.
I have started doing this with people who do not make me feel better for having been around them, and especially those who rag on me and tear me down. If they come to me I will always be cordial and loving, but just drawing a boundary for these people enables me to ACT, and not let their influence drag me through the mud. Try it out!
4. Working on my health and habits.
I have noticed that when I am eating poorly, and not keeping my body fit and healthy I feel like a pile of poo. (Sorry for the graphic metaphor but it’s true!) I have also noticed that when I start working out again I feel like a million bucks! Interesting correlation huh?
Be sure you are exercising regularly! I recommend at least 3-5 days a week! Hydrate yourself, get enough sleep. Sleep is insanely important for good mental and physical health! Meditation is also a good habit to develop. I really struggle with this one… but I’m learning! Read uplifting books (check out the Happiness Advantage if you want to learn to be more positive.) I also review books under my “Mental Boost” section. Check it out for more great ideas!
5. (Drumrolllll) Trying something new and scary…and LIVING to tell the tale!
The last thing that has helped me is getting out of my comfort zone, by using positive self talk, and trying something new! In the last year I have started two new businesses and I tell you what, IT WAS SCARY…but I have learned and grown more than I ever have before, I swear! I have also realized how strong and resilient I am, how talented I can be if I put my noggin’ into it, and how making decisions doesn’t have to be scary!
You don’t have to do something so drastic as starting your own business if you don’t want to. Maybe pick up a kickboxing class (I’m dying to!), travel somewhere new, learn to dance…. Just decide on something, go all in, and ROCK IT! If you decide it is not your jam then that is A-OK. Just be sure to give yourself brownie points for courage, and think of all the positives that experience has brought you.
So here’s what you need to do.
Realize you have a problem. Build a positive mindset vs. a negative one. Surround yourself with uplifting people and things. Stay physically and mentally fit, and CONSTANTLY progress in some way. I’m far from perfect at these tips I just gave you. I still struggle with self-esteem off and on but at least I know how to get out of my funk and how to improve my view of myself.
Have any of you felt the same way or have any other great tips on what you do? I’d love to hear them and apply them to my life! Comment below or message me!